Do Doctors Empathize With Patients?

By Dr. Avanthi Vellala

She was 29. Two years of marriage. One failed OI cycle, one failed IUI, and now here — after a first FET that didn't work. She had quit her job. Fully quit, to focus on the next cycle. She was on the floor outside, Googling, asking other patients what they felt after their transfers, just trying to hold onto something.

I didn't need her to tell me she was stressed. It was written all over her.

We planned a natural cycle FET this time. Double embryo transfer.

The cycle started. Everything went fine. And then came the day of the embryo transfer.

We loaded the catheter. Transferred. The embryologist checked — one embryo was retained in the catheter. It hadn't gone in.

We reloaded. Tried again. Retained again.

Again. Retained.

Three times. Two retentions in a row. My embryologist stayed steady. I stayed steady. We didn't say much to each other but we were both in it together — calm on the outside while something tighter was happening on the inside.

We got them in. Both. I made sure the first placement wasn't disturbed when I went back for the second. We were done.

I was thinking about her the whole time. This woman who quit her job. Who couldn't sleep. Who was Googling in the waiting area, asking other fertility specialists on Instagram how different is natural cycle FET, how is it going to work ?

She didn't know any of this. She was lying there, trusting us. And I wasn't about to add to her weight.

The night before her pregnancy test, I couldn't sleep.

I made a vow. I told myself — if she turns positive, I will visit the Baba temple. My husband found out and called me silly. Which, fair enough. He's been building his own startup for two years and I ve never once made a vow for him. But I couldn't help it. I just needed to put it somewhere — that hope, that prayer — and that's where it went.

She turned positive. Good beta HCG value.

Two weeks later, we saw two sacs on the scan. Two heartbeats.

And I did finish that temple visit.